1. The Boys: A shitload of goblins. They sneakily stake out their
targets by following them in groups of 15-20 yelling and jeering. This
doesn't actually matter. You can't fight them in the street, that's
illegal, and you can't fight them when they strike, there are too many.
They wait until you sleep. You have to do it some day, and they aren't
picky when. About 50 of them show up, and they break in to wherever the
target is sleeping. they are not the sneaky, shadowy kind of assassin,
they bust in through every entrance at once, singing a loud, old
war-song. they surround their target and simply butcher them through
number. The goblins have 50 hit-points, with each point of damage
killing a goblin. when it reaches half health, it makes a morale check,
and automatically runs at 10. if all of them get killed, you will never
be troubled by the boys again.
2. Hardbrush
Applework: Tricornered hat, puffed sleeves, gold trim, and a rapier.
Speaks flowingly and embelishingly, but prone to fits of insults like a
coal miner to coughing. Will stake out targets by asking them, frankly,
if they would like to be stabbed now or at an appointed time. Will
immediately fight if the answer is "now" (although no one yet has said
that, and they do not expect them to). Otherwise arranges a time and
place with the target for a fair duel, leaving after asking the target
to pick a weapon. Will arrive at the appointed place and time hiding or
disguised, will attempt to split jugular vein with knife.
3.
Onevev: Proper, suited, and clipped. Speaks with perfect formality and
conciseness. Stakes out targets in ordinary fashion, hiding in the
shadows and sending spies. He will confront his targets by arriving at
their house, asking to be hired on as a butler, and will begin taking
every measure to poison them. First offering a handshake with a
envenomed cuff-link, then offering a glass of cyanide wine, then
offering to draw a bath with acid. Tends to slightly jangle when he
walks, due to the sheer number of alembics and beakers hidden about his
body. However, he will still act as a competent and helpful butler as
long as his target is alive. This allows careful players to turn him
into a hireling.
4. Chemical Sally: Smells of
sulfur, wears a long, thick apron stained with volatile chemicals.
Carries around a big box with a tube labeled "AIR". Speaks sporadically
and wanderingly, like an 8-year-old talking about something they're
really excited about. Stakes out victims by sending mechanical birds to
search the area. Attacks by using the "AIR" box and an elaborate
mechanism to pump air out of wherever the target is. This never works,
and is always followed by filling the box with caustic gas, and pumping
that in. This usually works. If the target is outside, she will lob
various bombs and chemicals at them. Carries a big bread knife around
for security purposes.
5. The mad hatter: Wears
a tall hat and a black suit, almost always laughing. Speaks with a
high, clear voice, breaking into laughter at various "jokes" that really
aren't funny to anybody else (All that will be left are the eyes!
HAHAHAHAHA). Stakes out targets by stealing whatever headgear they have
and replacing them with business cards for their haberdashery. Uses
"Hat-fitting" as an excuse to check targets for weaknesses. Attacks
using radioactive material lined in hats. If their target doesn't want a
hat, the mad hatter will go into catatonic shock for 1d6 minutes,
flying into a bloodthirsty rage afterwards. Don't fuck with hatters.
6.
The Worst Assassin: Very, very drunk, speaks in slurred tones about
meaningless trifles (my, you sure have a dust speck on your shirt. Did I
ever... did I ever tell you about the time I saw a dust speck? yeah it
was a *vomits*). Wears dirty, beer-stained clothes. Stakes out targets
by walking up to them and self-proclaiming as an assassin, asking about
any weaknesses they might have. Attacks 20 or 30 seconds later, halfway
through the conversation, with complete sobriety and precision. Prefers
to use daggers, but as the only real, competent assassin on this list
(with the possible exception of Applework), uses the best weapon
available.
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